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Beastmastergar
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Rank:Sprite
Score:445
Posts:409
From: Canada 
Registered:11/11/2008
Time spent: 0 hours
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Re:Humour for the Day
(Date Posted:03/25/2009 17:13 PM)
Ever wondered about
| Guts or Balls...
There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:
GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: ''Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?''
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the boys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the arse and having the balls to say: ''You're next, fatty.''
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death.
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Dar24
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4#
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Rank:Dook Master
Score:1424
Posts:896
From: Canada
Registered:11/07/2008
Time spent: 8798 hours
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RE:Humour for the Day
(Date Posted:03/26/2009 06:40 AM)
LOL.. I read this one and the one you posted early out loud to hubby... He was laughing until I read the last line of this one.. He he..
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Beastmastergar
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Rank:Sprite
Score:445
Posts:409
From: Canada
Registered:11/11/2008
Time spent: 0 hours
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Re:Humour for the Day
(Date Posted:03/28/2009 20:15 PM)
I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and of course I have been married for 20+ years.
We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by wearing a black leather bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here's how it all went. My engaged friend: The other night my boyfriend came over and found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, ¢you are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made love all night long. The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels and mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night. Then I had to share my story: When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, "What's for dinner, Batman?"
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Beastmastergar
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Rank:Sprite
Score:445
Posts:409
From: Canada
Registered:11/11/2008
Time spent: 0 hours
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HOW TO BE A GRACIOUS B****
(Date Posted:04/07/2009 21:22 PM)
Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parent's nasty divorce.
Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best-dressed mother- of-the-bride ever!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother! Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused.
'Absolutely not, I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm Wearing it,' she replied.
Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, 'Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day.'
A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, 'Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it.
Her mother just smiled and replied, 'Of course I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.'
NOW I ASK YOU - IS THERE A WOMAN OUT THERE, ANYWHERE, WHO WOULDN'T ENJOY THIS STORY?
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Beastmastergar
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Rank:Sprite
Score:445
Posts:409
From: Canada
Registered:11/11/2008
Time spent: 0 hours
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Mole Family
(Date Posted:04/11/2009 19:23 PM)
A papa mole, a mama mole,
And a baby mole all live together
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In a little mole hole.
One day, papa mole sticks
His head
Out of the hole, sniffs the air
And said,
'Yum! I smell maple syrup!'
The mama mole sticks her head
Out of the hole,
Sniffs the air and said,
'Oh, Yum! I smell honey!'
Now baby mole is trying
To stick his head
Out of the hole to sniff the air,
But can't
Because the bigger moles
Are in the way.
This makes him whine,
'Geez, all I can smell is....
MOLEASSES!
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